Today Benson made his big debut at church. We made it to all three hours of church and honestly, it was a miracle. I told Chris last night that I wanted to go to church this week. I never should have said my wish out loud, because what ensued was one of our worst nights with Benson yet. It was unreal. I felt so sleep deprived this morning that I could hardly sit up to feed Benson. But I fed him and then after burping him, I laid him next to me in bed. I then laid back down and tried to pass out from exhaustion. Benson, however, had other plans and he proceeded to project spit up all over me and my bed. Like an insane amount of spit up and it just kept coming.
So then I thought, "there is no way I can get this all cleaned up, get him cleaned, me showered and ready with makeup, my bed stripped and sheets in the wash and get my other three kids ready in time for church." I thought, "oh well, we will try again next week and I'll send Chris and the older three to church today." But then I remembered the peace I had felt the night before when I had resolved to go to church and actually take the sacrament. I needed it. I needed to be at church. After determining to make it happen, I flew around the house like a crazy person, shoving shoes on feet and strapping bow ties on boys. All the while, Chris was flipping pancakes and pouring syrup like a boss so the kids could eat breakfast. I showered, quickly did my hair and threw on some makeup and we made it out the door in time for church. It was basically a modern day miracle!
But the truly miraculous thing was the amazing spirit that was felt during sacrament meeting. My kids behaved and I was able to listen to all the speakers. I was able to take the sacrament and actually think about my covenants. I was able to feel the spirit and love from my Savior. It was something that had been missing in my life for the last month and I hadn't realized how badly I had been missing it. I'm so grateful for the confirmation I felt today. I had made the right choice and Heavenly Father immediately blessed me for it. It's not often that we see blessings come into our lives immediately after making a good decision, but today the proof was there right away. My Heavenly Father was mindful of my state of mind and knew I needed help right then. He knew that I needed to have my eyes opened and my heart lifted right away. If for no other reason than to prove to myself that even on the craziest mornings, we can do it. We can get our family to church and when we make the effort to get us there, our Savior makes up the difference and the spirit felt during sacrament meeting will make it all early morning church prep worthwhile. I'm so grateful for the gospel and the peace and security it brings in my life and into our home.