Tanner's 13th Birthday!

My sweet firstborn child turned 13 this week and I really can't stand it. I can hardly handle the idea that I only have 5 years left with this awesome kid. He's so fun to be around and he such a genuinely good person. I love him. 
I really loved that he asked me to have lunch with him for his birthday. My sweet Junior High kiddo wanted to have lunch with his mom and his friends at the same time. Not going to lie- that felt pretty good. I hope he never feels too cool for me. 

We had a delicious sushi lunch together and got to chat until his lunch time was over. It was so fun. Being back in a Junior high really had me reminiscing to my days in Jr. high.

 

That night for his birthday dinner, Tanner requested ramen. So Chris made some delicious ramen bowls and we all enjoyed them!

 

For dessert we had a pineapple upside down cake- Tanner's favorite. 

Then this morning we had Tanner's 13th birthday. It was such a great time with so many fun friends. 

It was "paintball" themed and Tanner loved it so much. 

We gave all the boys "paintball" themed favors- which were gumballs.

We also had sour cream flavored pringles for everyone. 

Cupcakes

 Gatorade and gushers. 

 

Because Tanner doesn't care for most cakes, we decided to do another donut cake and he loved it. 

This boy had such a great party. 

Outside in the backyard I had setup all the supplies for an epic paintball fight. 

I had paint balls, paint guns, shirts and goggles. 

I love this picture of all the boys in their clean white shirts. 
They didn't stay clean and white for long. 

The fight was pretty epic and the boys had the best time making a mess in the backyard. 
We had throwable paintballs and guns filled with paint too. 
The boys were merciless and by the end of it, they were covered in paint. 

Isn't this a fun post party picture? Totally covered!

After there paintball fight, we did cake, presents and more food. 

I sure love this boy of mine. It was an awesome party and so much fun celebrating our new teenager!

Happy birthday sweet Tanner boy. 

My New Found Quiet

This week the kids started back to school. Even little Benson started kindergarten. 
While I have been looking forward to this day for years, it didn't take me long to recognize an absence in my life. Not a physical absence, but a spiritual one. 

Every day for as long as I have been a mom, I have have been rushing around. I am always trying to get 101 things done in the shortest amounts of time. I have always felt like I didn't have enough time and therefore things got pushed to the back burner. 

It wasn't until my kids started school and my time was my own that I realized the mistake I had made. 
I had pushed my Father in Heaven to the back burner. I had not made our relationship a priority and it had suffered. It took my house being quiet for me to realize, the spirit was quiet. 

I hadn't been making an effort to pray personally every day.  I prayed with my family and I prayed over our meals, but that was it. I hadn't been taking the time to study my scriptures. Again, I would read a verse or two with my kids before bed but I wasn't putting in much effort. At the time it honestly felt like that was all I had the energy for. I was doing good just to read a few verses and have one of my kids mumbled a prayer. I would check that parenting responsibility off my list and call it a success. 

It wasn't until my house was quiet that I realized it was too quiet. I had become like the ancient Israelites. I was making sacrifices into rituals and habits. I was going through the motions without any heart. My heart was too tired to try to feel and the less my heart sought the spirit the less I felt it. 

It wasn't until I sat down to pray with real sincere intent that I realized I didn't feel anything. This broke my heart. I felt the loss of the relationship fiercely. 

I know my Heavenly Father is there. I'm not having a crisis of faith and I have thought about this really hard. Like any relationship that isn't given time and attention, my relationship with my Father in Heaven has suffered. 

The trust we had built has diminished. The closeness we once felt has lessened. But it wasn't God who pushed me away. I pushed him, however unwittingly, out of my life. 

So as I prayed, asking what I can do to feel His love again, the thought came to me: 
Purify my life. Get rid of the things that are a distraction or that don't invite the spirit. Spend more time in the things that matter and turn to him more. I don't need to do everything on my own. I often try and it makes me miserable. I don't need to carry all the burden. He wants to help if I ask. 
But first, I must put for the effort and the faith to show him that I want him in my life. I have to nurture the relationship again. 

So this year, in my new found quiet, I will be focusing on my relationship with God. I will be spending my new found freedom on things that matter eternally. Yes, I will be going to the gym and taking care of my house- but I will also be taking care of my spirit. 

Light calls to light and I need more of that in the dark world that surrounds us. 

 

First Day of School!

The time has finally come! My kids are all in school this year and I'm so excited about it. 
People keep asking if I'm sad to have all my kids out of the house and I feel a little bad that I don't. 

But my kids love going to school and Benson is very excited about kindergarten so I don't feel bad that I'm excited too. 

We took first day of school pictures and I love how they turned out.

Bailey is getting so big and she's just a beautiful girl. 

Bailey is starting 6th grade at Ardis Ann and is excited to play the clarinet this year in band. 

I can't believe how much she's grown over the last year. Her "Class of 2029" shirt almost fits her. Which is insane!

Tanner has gained a little height this year and is just a delightful teenager. 

Tanner is starting 7th grade at Grimsley Junior High. He is so excited. We toured his school and it's really big but he's ready for it. He's playing the baritone again and loves band so much. 

Tanner is also growing into his "Class of 2028" shirt and its kind of breaking my heart. We only have 5 more short years with this kid. 

Now this little stud started kindergarten today and he totally rocked it. He walked right in and had no fear. He loved going to his orientation and learning all about his classroom and school. He's going to have a great year. 

But look how huge his shirt is on him. I can't handle the cuteness. 

And my sweet Tucker started 3rd grade at Elm Tree. It's nice to have Tucker and Benson at the same school. They are going to have so much fun this year, I just know it. 

 

Tucker's shirt is still pretty big but not as big as it use to be. 
He's my shy kid, but I have no doubt he will gain confidence and friendships as the year progresses. 

So my babies are all off at school and it's so fun for all of us. 

I love these shots of Benson in his classroom. He loves his desk and cubby and he loves wearing his backpack. 

  

Tucker walked in like a pro, hung up his bag and found his desk right away. He was fearless and I'm so proud of him. 

I didn't get to walk Bailey to Tanner inside and that was a little sad, but they both did great. No tears for anyone!

After school drop off, I headed to the gym for the first time since May. It felt so good to move and work my body. 

Then I went home to prep for a "Tears or Cheers" mom pool party. 
I invited everyone I could think of to celebrate the first day of school. I brought Kleenex for those who needed it and had a fun soda bar set up at the pool. 

I named each drink and it was so fun. I had a great turn out. I think about 30 moms came and it lasted until we had to pick up our kids from school. It was so fun and might have to become a new tradition. 

Then I ran to the car rider line to get my babies. It was so cute to see all three of these kiddos walking out together and smiling so big. They all had a great first day and can't wait to go back. 

Tanner rode the bus home for the first time and loved it. He gets home about an hour after the younger kids because his school starts and ends later than theirs. 

We celebrated the first day at home with more soda. The kids were thrilled that I had saved some soda for them and I made them all yummy soda combinations. 
Then we just got to chill together and talk. 

I'm so happy that all my kids are happy and in school. 
It's seriously so weird that this is how the rest of my life will be. I will never have kids at home during the school year again, barring another global pandemic of something.

It was a great first day and I look forward to the rest of the year being the same. 
Happy first day of school!