It's now been a year since the world shut down due to the COVID-19 virus. I really can't believe its been a year but in other ways it feels like about 3 years have passed. Time is somehow both slowing down and speeding past us. Some kind of weird "COVID Time warp".
So here are some stats as of today: As of March 16, 2021 there have been almost 121 million cases of Coronavirus worldwide. The disease has impacted more than 210 countries and territories, with the US confirming around 1/5 of all global cases.
In Arkansas we have had 339K cases and a little over 5,800 deaths. Our cases are currently trending down which is great. It makes me wary to get my hopes up, but it is great news. Our state was one of the lucky ones that never fully shut down. We didn't have a "shelter at home" order in place at anytime but we were asked to stay home when possible. Our restaurants were able to mostly stay open by doing take out and drive through. Our schools closed from March- May. Then in August 2020, they were able to reopen, with masks and social distancing procedures in place. Of course, we homeschooled, but most almost all my friends had their kids in school. Cases haven't been bad in the elementary schools. Our high school did close a couple of times but were able to reopen both times. I'm grateful that life is much more normal here than in many other states. Our family in Oregon still isn't able to go to in-person school. They have been virtual for a year now. It's crazy.
Health systems around the world have been overwhelmed by the number of COVID cases and even the richest and most prepared countries have struggled. But several vaccines have been approved for use and more than 390 million vaccine doses have been given already. The three major vaccines in the US are Pfizer, Moderna and Johnson & Johnson. The vaccines are available here in AR and Nanny, Papa and Aunt Laura have already gotten theirs. I plan to get mine when they become available here in NWA and I'm pretty sure the military will require Chris to get one. President Nelson got the vaccine and that did give me some confidence. It feels like we've been praying for a miracle and this could be it.
I feel like I have changed a lot over the last year. COVID really sent my anxiety into overdrive. I feel like I have always been on edge, anxious, and always on the go. When COVID forced me to slow down I really had to face a lot of my anxieties. It was a lot. I struggled. I started experiencing chest pain and depression. Every morning felt like I was waking up and hearing a damage report of what had happened over night. People were dying every day. I worried that my sweet husband or kids would get sick. I felt trapped in our house but also scared to leave at the same time. I struggled through for months. There were days when I just wanted to sleep. There were days when I wanted to be left alone, but it was impossible because we were all stuck at home together. Finally, in January, I decided to take control of my health. I went to the doctor and talked to him about all the things I was feeling. I cried. I felt exposed, vulnerable and I felt like a failure. But my need and want to feel better outweighed all those other feelings. So I got on some medication, I started doing therapy (virtually) and slowly I started feeling better. I do feel much better now. I loved my therapist. I learned a lot about myself. I learned some great coping mechanisms and I feel better about life.
We are getting close to finishing our homeschooling curriculum. The kids have done great. It's been really rewarding getting to watch them learn and master concepts. I think the hardest part about homeschooling is having them home after we finish school. They are always here. This is what led to a lot of my depression. Not having them here, but the fact that I can't get things done and be productive like I use to be because they are here and I'm constantly getting interrupted. I really enjoy being productive. I also enjoy being busy and I like being good at things. But it got to the point where I was just falling behind in everything I wanted to do from home and my out of the house options had disappeared. I know this probably sounds so trivial. People are literally dying and I'm mourning the loss of my freedom. But my world changed like everyone else's and its been hard to adjust.
Anyways, here we are 1-year later. I'm grateful the world seems brighter. I'm grateful that I was able to register my kids for school next year and that we will hopefully be able to resume a more normal lifestyle. I'm grateful for the development of vaccines. I'm grateful Chris was able to work from home and didn't lose his job. We've been blessed and preserved but I had a lot to learn during this time.
Here's to one year of COVID life. May there not be a year TWO!
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