Over the last three days I've had the very unique experience of getting to cook and serve Elder & Sister Bednar their meals, along with their son, his wife and two of their kids.
Because I currently serve in the Bentonville Stake Relief Society, I was able to be part of the meal prep and more. This may not seem very glamorous, but it was such a privilege.
Our stake was just split today, so all weekend Elder Bednar and his Son, who was the junior apostle on this assignment, had been interviewing bishops and other members of our stake for the new stake president position and more. While they have been basically living at the stake center, we have been providing their lunches and dinners.
On Friday we prepared them lunch, but we were told we would just set it out of them and then we would be done. So we weren't prepared at all when Elder Bednar invited us to have lunch with him and his family. What??? Are you kidding me? Of course I would like to have lunch with an apostle of the Lord. We all served our plates and sat down, Elder Bednar asked us to each give a brief introduction and then he just said "Okay Sisters- what questions do you have for me?" and we had about 1.5 hours to sit and ask him our questions. It was incredible.
Elder Bednar told us the story of Bro. Ralph Hackett who lives in our stake and who he knew before when he lived in Fayetteville and served as the stake president there. He told us how he felt he needed to leave a meeting with bro Hackett to go watch their son's basketball game. It was very unusual for Elder Bednar to be a game like this and their families were surprised when they showed up without warning.
months later, Bro Hackett's son was in a serious car accident and when Elder Bednar found out he rushed to the hospital. The boy passed away and Bro Hackett told Elder Bednar how glad he was that they had taken the time to attend the basketball game that day. Elder Bednar explained how at the time he had decided to go to the basketball game, he did think of it as revelation or a prompting. But when reflecting he could see that it was the holy spirit leading him. He then went on to tell us about the devotional message he gave at the MTC. We actually used this message during our Stake RS lesson for ward conferences. so we were very familiar with the story. He taught us how we should work to be good and do good and while doing so, the spirit will lead us to do God's work.
Then Sister Bednar spoke to us about ministering.She told us about two women in her stake that were very impactful in her life when she lived here. She told us about how she prayed to see how she could minister to others in a higher and holier way, following President Nelson/s invitation. She said neither her or her companion got an answer to their prayers, so they decided to return to their ministering sisters and ask them "What do you think we can do to elevate our ministering to a higher hand holier way? Elder Bednar interjected here teaching us that this is often how revelation comes- when we ask questions. Then Sis. Bednar told us how they discussed ministering with their sisters and their interactions deepened and strengthened each other.
I loved learning about ministering from the Bednars because our Ward Conference lesson this year was all about ministering. Ministering is something so close to my heart.
Then Elder Bednar told us about a family tradition they have with their extended family. At each family reunion, they invite their kids and grandkids to come with questions and they have open and frank discussions. The discuss hard topics like fidelity and pornography and they answer questions and offer advice and counsel to their kids and grandkids. Even the grandkids come with topics of things they are struggling with. I think this is the coolest traditions and its something I would love to implement with my family.
Elder Bednar also told us about when he taught at the University of Arkansas. He said he would tell his classes on the first day of class that he wont be lecturing. He told his students to come with questions about the material they studied and he would answer them. He told them if they didn't come with questions then he would ask them questions instead. He emphasized again how important questions are in receiving revelation.
Sis Bednar talked to us about how to raise teenagers in this world. She spoke about raising three boys and how difficult it was to find harmony in their home. Her and Elder bednar came up with a question to ask their boys. They asked them "Do we want to be a forever family? And if so, what do we need to do to make that happen?" and this was an ongoing discussion they had as a family. They discussed it weekly until behavior improved and the spirit became more abundant in their home. This was another example of asking inspired questions to get revelation.
Then Elder Bednar told us to get a quad set of scriptures and to go through and look for all the questions that the Lord or one of his authorized servants asks. He told us not to just look at the questions, but to seek to understand why he asked the question. He told us to think about the questions asked in the temple recommend interview. He told us to think about their order and why they are arranged that way. He told us to study the questions in the endowment. Why did God ask questions when he knew the answers.
I asked about how we help our kids navigate truth and obedience in a world of relativities. How do we teach them truth in love while also teaching them to be compassionate people. Elder Bednar's Son, Elder Eric Bednar answered my question by telling me to look to the words of the prophets. He said that the greatest compliments his kids ever gave him was when they asked if his counsel was a quote from a prophet or something he came up with on his own. By following the counsel of prophets we can know how to teach our kids.
Our lunch ended shortly after and I think we were all a little sad. I feel like I learned so much. It was such a priviledge to sit a the feet of an apostle and learn from him.
Saturday afternoon Gaylene served a small lunch and then we started prepping dinner. I was tasked with putting together dinner and it was the biggest meal we served. I was allowed to recruit help, so I asked my friends Lacey Henderson and April Lowden to help. We got approval for a BBQ dinner. Elder Bednar mentioned how he loves southern BBQ.
I made menus with Arkansas themed entrees and sides. We catered pulled pork from "Wright's BBQ" and then we all made different sides. We also served pies for dessert.
Everyone really enjoyed the dinner. It was a big hit and we were so grateful for the chance to serve the Bednars again. They came in and thanked us each individually and were so gracious.
Saturday night we had an amazing adult session with the Bednars. Elder Bednar talked about blessings of the Abrahamic covenant and he challenged us to read President Nelson's talk "The Everlasting covenant" He said it was basically a lifetime of learning condensed into one talk and we would benefit greatly from a frequent study of this that talk.
Then on Sunday we attened the general session of stake conference during which Elder Bednar spoke again.
After Conference was over and the stake had been split, we hung around to feed the Bednars and the two stake presidencies. After lunch Elder Bednar came back into the kitchen to talk with us again. He asked us what we learned from conference. I said that I wanted to get better at asking inspired questions to receive revelation.
I feel overwhelmed with love and gratitude for this weekend and the opportunity I had to serve and interact with the Bednars. I'm grateful for apostles and the love and testimony they share with the world.
Also with the stake splitting, both Jill Jolley and I are now in the new stake and are effectively released from the Bentonville Stake Relief Society Presidency. I'm going to miss serving in that presidency so much. Gaylene Teshima, Jill Jolley and Maureen Simmons are incredible women and I feel like I learned and grew so much in the last 2.5 years. I'm going to miss them so much though.
So now I'm calling-less and free. It's a weird feeling but I'm excited to see what happens next. I'm super excited for our new stake presidency in the Centerton Arkansas Stake. This area is growing so much, its exciting to be part of it.
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