The Skewed Reality of Facebook

Can I just say how tired I am of facebook. I’m as guilty as the next person, I get on facebook 3-4 times a day, but each time I get on I scold myself. I think I could give it up, except that I use it as a form of communication with too many people and groups.

When I first signed up for facebook, it literally was only available to certain universities and it in no way resembled the facebook we use today. Today it is our outlet for documenting our every thought and action. Again, I’m as guilty as the next.  But I think what a lot of people fail to remember is the facebook reality you read about isn’t a true reality. Very few post about when they have hard days, about when they yell at their kids or neglect them for something more interesting. Seriously, who wants the world to know about your weakness and faults. No one.

So what do we do? We post about how awesome we are. We post about the fun things we do. We post about how much we accomplish in one day. We post the good in our lives.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with posting about those things, I just hope we can all remember that it’s not the whole truth. Not by a long shot.

Now to get personal. I post things on facebook all the time. (I told you, I’m guilty.) I post pictures of my kids. I post funny things they do or say. I post fun activities we do together. I post tons of things.
But you know what I don’t post, I don’t post how many times I lost my temper with my son or when I scolded my daughter for peeing on my carpet. I don’t post about the argument my husband and I had about budgeting. I don’t post about my insecurities.

See what I mean? You would never know I have hard days, days that seem completely horrible and never ending.

I guess what I’m really struggling with is the tendency of people to judge a person based on their facebook posts or comments. You don’t know a person based on what you see on your “newsfeed”.  

END. OF. STORY.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop assuming you know what a person’s life is like because of their posts.

Now it’s time to get even more personal.  I’ve made some really good friends over the years. Girlfriends that I love going out with for “Girls Nights Out”, friends that I love for my kids to have play dates with and friends that make church more fun just by being there.
(And friends, please don’t be offended by any of this, because I love you all and you’ve made my life so much fun and full of laughter and smiles.)

But friends, please understand me when I say, you may not know the real me. You see my facebook posts and think “Wow, she does so many fun things with her kids. She’s an awesome mom.”
Or “She’s always planning fun activities for her kids, she’s such a fun mom.”
And I’m not trying to brag, but I’ve gotten this comment “You are the best Mom ever”. Or “You’re my mommy inspiration”.

These things are all really flattering, but your idea of me is totally unfair. And it causes things like this to be said:  “I see your facebook posts and I have to scroll right past them so I don’t feel bad about myself.” Or “I had to hide your facebook posts so that I don’t feel guilty as a Mom.”

Dear friends, I would never ever ever want you to feel bad about yourselves. EVER. Being a mom is REALLY REALLY hard. Like the hardest thing ever.
I never post things with the intent of proving how amazing I am at this whole motherhood thing. (Because I’m really, really not!!!!) I would never post anything with the intent on making anyone feel like less of a mom.
Just because you see me or someone else posting fun activities they’ve done with their kids, doesn’t mean you are any less of a great mom because you and your kids barely survived the day.
Because you know what’s even more impressive than a mom who does cool activities with her kids, is a mom who really plays with her kids. It’s a mom who gets down on the ground and crawls around with her kids pretending to be a lion. It’s a mom who has a tea party with her daughter or reads the same book 50 times in a row because that’s their child’s favorite. It’s a mom who really knows the needs of their child, emotionally, physically and mentally.

That’s the mom we should all be striving to be more like.

Please don’t let me or anyone else ever bring you down. And please remember that EVERY SINGLE MOM out there has hard days. EVERY SINGLE MOM has days when she wants to cry because nothing is going right.

Literally, yesterday I cleaned poop off of nearly every surface in my living room and bathroom. Yep, we all have days that are hard and that are just covered in poop.

So next time you see someone post a fun picture with their kids or a post about how productive they were that day, just remember, in most cases, that one productive or fun day was preceded by a million or two hard days.

Please don’t let the skewed facebook reality make you feel like less of a mom. It’s just that- a skewed, untrue reality.

Always remember we all have undocumented hard days.
You are not alone and you ARE amazing!